Pleasured. Image: Alexander Krivitskiy on Unsplash

How To Have Great Sex

Are you craving for immense pleasure?

Whether you do it with men, women, or a mixture of both, sex must be pleasurable. But too many of us do not know how to have great sex.

You know, the kind that tantalises our sensitive spots, where we shudder under the caress of a wayward finger or slippery tongue.

But, we have to remember that sex is not just about finding the sweet spots. Indeed, it’s a rather important factor, but there are other things to remember before you attempt great sex.

Know What You Like

Before you go bananas in the bedroom, you have to know what turns you on. Maybe it’s a lick behind the ear? Perhaps it’s a certain way of swirling your finger inside? Or maybe you’re just yearning to be tied up and tickled? Everyone is different.

Let me repeat: EVERYONE is DIFFERENT.

Your sexual proclivities are unique to you. Some ladies like a fast, unfettered tongue inside their glory box, others yearn for slow and sensual. Some men like to be deepthroated, others aren’t so fussed.

The point is: you need to find what you like first so you can share it with your next bedfellow. Or else it will be the blind leading the blind.

My advice is to start off learning through masturbation. Once you’ve got a general idea of what tickles your fancy, go forth and copulate. You learn more in the company of others.

Show & Tell

Now that you know what you like, it is important to share this information with whoever your shagging. But please, do not bore them with a pre-written list. It’s sex, not anatomy class.

The best way to share your personal tastes is with a little show and tell. This is either through verbal communication or effective body language. Personally, I’m a firm believer in showing rather than telling. It’s a sharp way of getting the point across. If your girl is bobbing too fast upon your stick, grab her head and slow it down. If you want to help your man find that elusive clit of yours, scooch your toosh.

But sometimes you need to just say it to them. Maybe you don’t like her teeth grinding your shaft. Or perhaps he’s indexing your butthole and you’re not that keen on it. If must say it, say it! You can’t expect all body language to be easily noted.

And finally, allow this show and tell to happen in the moment. Don’t tell them you like a finger up the bum when you’re in the middle of kissing. What a way to kill the vibe.

Enjoy it like a newfound adventure!


Sex is more than just pleasing yourself.

So while you’re showing and telling your own pleasurable tips, be sure to listen to your partner. It’s just like that saying: “I scratch your back, you scratch mine!”

And this is not just for verbal cues, either. You can gain so much from reading body language. Maybe they’re not groaning as much as they were, or perhaps that jittering is their way of saying it’s ticklish/uncomfortable.

The best advice is that if it doesn’t feel right, try something new.

Be Open To New Things

There’s a smorgasbord of sexual fetishes to explore, and plenty of sexual positions to try. Many of you probably don’t want a finger up the bum. And that’s your choice. But you won’t know if you like it unless you try.

So be sure to explore the ways of the body. And as you find your own sweet spots, see what titillates other people too. You’ll soon build up different methods of gaining sexual pleasure and perhaps a few skills in different fetishes too.

Discuss Sex Openly

Here’s what a lot of people tend to put off, and it’s what deadens the sex in most sexual relationships. The discussion of sexual proclivities must not be confined to the bedroom (or anywhere sex occurs, really). Be open about it even when you’re not doing it.

The best time to discuss sex is after you’ve both climaxed. Think of it as an evaluation. A sexual assessment, if you will.

And this is not just for those who are in exclusive relationships. You should also be keen to discuss sex with regular NSA fans as well. You might learn something new about them OR they might open up about that one thing you do that they just don’t like. And look, that’s okay.

We’re not all mind readers.