Sexy fruit threesome, threesomes. Image: Dainis Graveris on Unsplash

Threesomes Are Not THAT Amazing

Take it from someone who’s been in a few threesomes: they’re not all their cracked up to be. And yet, we all pretend threesomes are the pinnacle of sexual exploration.

Personally, having any kind of satisfying sex is the pinnacle of sexploration!

Indeed, I won’t go so far as to say they’re awful and should be avoided. If they’re executed well, they could be immensely pleasurable. And look, it’s a nice box to tick off. But don’t be underwhelmed if you’ve yet to have a threesome experience.

It’s a lot of hard work!

Great sex requires good communication. You have to be able to convey your emotions succinctly so your partner knows how to satisfy you.

Without good communication, you may as well do it blindfolded. Why? Because satisfaction differs from person to person.

Which means when you’re having a threesome, you have to communicate with TWO people. And that’s why I heartily recommend talking with both partners beforehand about their savoury spots if you’re ever going to have a decent threesome.

On the other hand, when you’re dealing with one person, you can give them undivided attention. So you can afford to skip the pre-convos and expect decent sex.

And then there’s the dynamics…

When you’re having sex with two people, it’s expected that one of them is gonna be sexier to you than the other. Which means you have to work with the dynamics. Or else one of you will be huddling on the side of the bed saying, “I don’t feel part of this…”

So you’ve got to make sure that everyone is near-equal, or else it’s gonna get a little awkward.

And this adds onto the hard work of communicating. Because you have to make sure that everyone is getting some action.

You can’t let any appendages go limp, or any crevices dry up!

And dynamics are just as important for tag-team threesomes.

Even if you and a mate are spit roasting some chick, the dynamics need to work. You and your mate have to be totally comfortable with each other being naked together. Or else you can expect soft cocks and a displeased woman.

And this includes hoping you have a lady who doesn’t just starfish. Unless that’s what you’re hoping for. And to that I say boring!

Size matters, too…

I’m not talking length here, but the overall floor space. You can’t have a good threesome without a spacious location to do it in. Single beds won’t do, and double might be challenging if all of you are tall and lanky. Which could be annoying if the room is compact.

So, as well as hoping you’ve got the dynamics right, you have to make sure that the space you’re gallivanting in is big enough for three.

And, for the love of God, don’t make the same mistake I did and have a threesome in the back seat of a car. Not unless two of you are contortionists.


Look, threesomes are nice for the bucket list, but I wouldn’t recommend them as a must-do attraction. I can only name one threesome I’ve had as being a good one, but even then I can name a few one-on-ones that surpass it.

In the end, if you have one that’s great. But don’t beat yourself up if you’ve yet to fornicate with two people at the same time.

Threesomes are not that amazing.

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