Waiting. Image: christopher lemercier on Unsplash

I’m Turning 30 in the Middle of a Pandemic

The end of an era is nigh. At least that’s what it feels like. But thanks to this pandemic, I’m not rushing to chase my dreams. Instead, I’m stuck at home wondering what my non-existent 30th birthday party will look like.

But that’s not my ultimate fear…

The world has peddled this idea that you have to do everything before your 30. If you don’t, you’ll never do it. And I hope that’s not the case.

Because I’m still working on my writing career, I haven’t travelled to Europe yet and so far I haven’t found true love. Among these major goals, I’ve got all these smaller goals in my head and I can’t do anything about them because the world has shut down. Ain’t that a bitch!

Of course, I do know that the whole do-everything-before-you’re-30 talk is not true. You can still reach your goals no matter what age you are. And there are a lot of famous people who can attest to that.

But no matter how much I know it, my feelings of inadequacy still pervade.

And there’s nothing I can do about it!

It’s said that a lot of people make wild decisions when they near 30 years of age. Move house, change careers, fornicate like a rabbit. But for me? I’m stuck between working, writing and job searching. My only weekly bit of fun is going to the grocery store, enjoying regular walks and perhaps lunch with a friend every once in a while. But I have to be careful about going out because it could disrupt my day job.

Honestly, I really want to travel around Australia and the world, but that ain’t happening any time soon. I want to have a wild 30th birthday party, but that seems off the table. And I’d love to date and fall in love, but the prospective market has shrunk recently. Especially now when my part of Australia is seeing a growing rise in cases.

So all I can really do is focus on my career – which is also feeling tough thanks to the pandemic – and forget all my other hopes and dreams.  At least until after my 30th birthday.

And I just don’t know how to deal with that…

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