So there I was, chatting to this gorgeous hunk of a man on Grindr. We had swapped pics and personal preferences and I was keen for action. In fact, I could wrestle in bed with him till dawn and it was only 9pm!

And then he asks…

“Do you take PrEP?”

“No, I prefer condoms,” I reply.

“Oh, I’m on PrEP. Is that okay?”

“Yeah, I prefer using condoms, though. It’s safer.”

“Damn, I was wanting to take that cock raw.”

“Would you be okay with using condoms?”

“Nah…”

And then he blocked me, leaving me raging for sex with no willing participants.

This has happened to me on more than one occasion and it’s a definite mood killer. I can understand why people are gagging for raw sex, which is why they’ve opted to go on PrEP, but don’t forget that PrEP only protects you against HIV.

Studies show that since the introduction of PrEP, the rise of other sexually transmitted infections grew substantially. Of course, compared to HIV, all those other STIs are curable or treatable. But my reason for preferring condoms over PrEP is not because I’m worried about catching anything, but because I’m worried about spreading something.

I don’t want to be the person who has to contact all my previous sex partners and tell them to get tested.

If there was one thing I could say to that guy who blocked me, it would be this: you may have the right to take PrEP and have all the risky sex you want, but don’t forget that some of the guys you sleep with may not be on PrEP for their own reasons. And if they catch an STI from you – whether it be chlamydia, gonorrhea or syphilis – the chances of them catching HIV from their next sexual encounter increase.

To put it another way: sexual intercourse is not just about your preferences.

Feature image: Dainis Graveris on SexualAlpha