Finger a flower. Image: Malvestida Magazine on Unsplash

The Fluidity Of Sexuality

We live in a world where everything seems black and white. You’re either right or left, male or female, gay or straight. But I’m here to tell you that everything in this world is not as concrete. There’s a fluidity on this earth that far too many of us miss. Most of all around sexuality, where we fear being sexually liberated. We cannot fathom being a little bit gay, or a smidge lesbian. Hell, many of us don’t know where we stand on transgender attraction. As if attraction is purely about which genitals you prefer.

You see, sexuality is much like the food we prefer to eat. You have food that you like and then you have food that you don’t like. But, if you had a gun to your head, I’m sure you could force anything down. You may not like it, but you would do it anyway. As a gay man, I fawn over men like no tomorrow, but women? I’ve been there, done that, tried it a handful of times and I’m just not keen. I could force myself to have sex with a women, but I guarantee you that I won’t like it. And that’s because I’ve allowed myself to experience heterosexual sex before claiming my gayness.

But some of you claim to be purely straight, all because of societal pressure. You fear the wrath of those around you, as if their thoughts matter. But the fact is, they don’t. A majority of you will likely be bisexual – not smack-bang in the middle, of course, but many of you will have inclinations towards the same sex. How do you know if you’re purely straight if you haven’t tried and failed with someone of the same sex? That’s like me saying I don’t like rock climbing and having never climbed a rock in my life.

Sexuality is a fluid state of affairs and it’s always constantly changing. Your attractions will ebb and flow, sometimes between men and women, other times between jocks and dad bods, or hairy muffs to freshly waxed snack packs. Sometimes you may not want sex at all. Sometimes you want to have everyone inside you. There is no one right way when it comes to sexuality, and you must allow yourself the time to explore it all. Especially before claiming you’re totally straight.

I mean, spaghetti’s straight until you heat it up…

Feature image: Malvestida Magazine on Unsplash

2 thoughts on “The Fluidity Of Sexuality

  1. Unfortunately some cis men, when they hear someone is bi or “sexually fluid”, use it as an excuse that the women they want to score “hasn’t met the right man yet”.

    And just as lgbtqia+ people don’t like when their sexuality is questioned, it would be respectful for us not to challenge or question people who say they’re straight.


    1. It’s nobodies right to question anyone. Everyone has the right to claim whatever identity they feel fits. And yes, after testing the waters, we become more assured of who we are. But some people fear the labels that go against heteronormativity, and they refuse to truly discover who they really are.

      Saying that we should ignore sexual fluidity because it could give cis straight people leverage to question our identity is dangerous. Ignorance is never a good thing.


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