Religious freedom. Image: Jomarc Cala via Unsplash

Religious Freedom: Drawing The Line At Idle Threats

I’m all too happy with going to hell. At least I’ll be with my own kind. And hey, I won’t have to deal with religious zealots who keep telling me I’ll go to hell for being gay – all while they claim religious freedom; as if that’s gonna help. I mean, it was either renounce my sexuality or go to hell; and since I can’t change what I like, I guess my decision is already made.

But religious zealots don’t like that. Lil Nas X learned this after releasing his latest hit Montero (Call Me By Your Name), where he pole danced all the way to hell and gave Satan a lap dance. And he purposefully did that because he got sick of people saying he’ll go to hell for being gay.

Dear pious morons:
Don’t threaten us with a good time!

It’s funny when corporations bite back – by firing people for practising religious freedom (see: threats of hellfire and damnation) – because conservatives soon begin screaming cancel culture and religious persecution. “We’re being silenced,” they say. And yes, they’ve got that right. But not on their entire religious freedom, mind you – just for threatening LGBTQI people with eternal damnation. Because it doesn’t work. In fact, it’s akin to bullying. So much so that kids in religious families are taking their own lives because of these wanton threats. And doesn’t that make you a ray of sunshine in the eyes of the lord?

We cannot change what we like!

So, what’s the point of telling me I’ll go to hell? Well, it’s easily noted in the words that follow these threats. Repent! Renounce your evil desires and turn to God! And to that, I ask: how?

I remember one time at a fast-food restaurant, I was told I can become straight. Indeed, by another pious moron. I was about 17 at the time, but I knew enough about myself then. So I asked him if he could turn gay. He screwed his face up at the thought of it. “No,” he said, shaking his head. And I simply said that that’s exactly my response to being straight. And if he can’t be gay, then what’s the chance of me being straight?

Look, I don’t want to have sex with women. And I certainly don’t want to do it for a God that threatens hellfire for something I cannot change anyway. Nor will I do it because a religious zealot told me so. And that’s where I draw the line with religious freedom.

I don’t care if you praise God to the high heavens in public. I don’t care if you hand out religious pamphlets outside shopping malls. I really don’t care how you practice your religion. But you can certainly do it without threatening the LGBTQI community.

According to the bible, you won’t go to hell if you refrain from saying I will.

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