I have friends who call me by my drag name, Delilah. Mostly it’s shortened to Del because it’s an Australian custom to abbreviate names. I also have friends who refer to me as a dude, bro, and a mate. In fact, I’ve been referred to as both a girl and a guy, and a plethora of gender-fluid endearing terms. Bitch, slag, homo… And in all honesty, I really don’t mind.
Now, before I continue, I must say that I don’t write this for disrespect. I know that many of you have your own pronouns and wish to be referred to as such — and I will always respect that.
But there are a myriad of people in this world who over-scrutinize the pronoun debate when it really doesn’t need much thought. And not just straight cisgendered people, but even those within the LGBTQ community.
This is precisely why my pronouns are he/she/whatever. It’s my way of acknowledging that there’s no right way to have a gender, and that your genitals do not dictate your gender decisions. It’s our bodies, our choice. We all get to decide how we present ourselves.
Whatever happened to live and let live?
On top of this, I know many guys and girls who are in the same boat as I am. They don’t care how they’re gendered, and that’s perfectly fine. It’s no skin off anyone else’s nose…
Indeed, I wouldn’t go so far as to call myself genderfluid, which is someone who doesn’t have a fixed gender. This is because I proudly accept my male sex. But I’m not hellbent on holding people to account on it.
If you want to call me a “she”, I’m not going to bat an eyelid.
Of course, there are many of you who carry their gender identity with pride. From trans people to nonbinary, and even radical feminists who think their vaginas are being stolen by queer lefties. Newsflash: your vaginas are not being stolen!
I say this because some people are up in arms about places using gender-neutral terminology. Specifically hospitals, with terms like “birthing person” and “people who menstruate”. Apparently this makes women, with innate womenly bits, invisible. But they don’t realize that this gender-neutral terminology is not for them.
If you’re a woman and want to call yourself a mother or a woman who menstruates, you are perfectly allowed to do so. Nobody is stopping you. As I said, it’s your body and your choice.
But you have to accept that there are many people out there who don’t conform to their physical attributes. A person with a working vagina may not identify as female. That is their choice. And unless you’re their doctor or you’re about to sleep with them, you don’t need to know they have a working vagina.
At the end of the day, someone’s gender identity doesn’t have much bearing on anyone else’s life. Gender identity is all about how we present ourselves to the world; the way we dress, the way we cut our hair, and even the way we act. Some people stick to it religiously, and others (like myself) are not so bothered.
And if you still think gender identity affects you, then let me say this:
The world doesn’t revolve around you!