PSA: This story contains coarse language and adult themes. Viewer discretion advised.
Wed., Jan. 3
Hey, how are you?
Im well, n u?
(I’m actually a little indifferent, but whatever.)
What u doin?
(Are you masturbating? It would help me reach my goal quicker…)
Not much, just playing a game
(I’m playing Grand Theft Auto IV for the third time round. Which explains why I haven’t moved out of my parents house even though I’m 20.)
What you doing up this late?
(I got bored of GTA. Also, are you expecting me to hold this conversation?)
Im a bit toey
(I think “toey” sounds less frank than “horny”. Just playing my cards right…)