At 16 years old, I was told I’ll go to hell for being gay. It was my first time, and definitely not the last. And I remember thinking that if she is going to heaven, then I don’t ever want to go there for eternity. That just sounded like another version of hell to me. Because I knew that her hate for my supposed sin is easily transferrable to me. And at 16, after already accepting my sexuality, why would I subject myself to hate?
Yes, some of you will say that’s not true; you don’t hate gay people, you just hate their sin. But how could you love me if I’m actively and incessantly sinning?
Of course, I’ve heard enough pious preachers to know that I could easily refrain from sex altogether. But what good is a life if you cannot enjoy sex with another human being? And why would god give me a cock if I couldn’t use it? Ain’t that a cruel joke…
Indeed, I could just resort to having sex with women, but why would I do something I don’t like? I mean, I COULD have sex with a woman – provided I could get it up in the first place – but, following previous experiences, I know I’ll never enjoy it.
And, with sexuality being a permanent fixture in my life, how could any preacher love me as a sinner and hate my sin? Loving the sinner and hating the sin implies that you’re hopeful I’ll repent and renounce my sexuality. But if I’m not capable of doing so, what’s the point of loving me?
Of course, I must state that I’m not a religious person. I really don’t care if you hate me. So I can take the whole hating the sin and loving the sinner because I don’t consider myself a sinner anyway. But some of us gays do believe in sin. And some of us take this pious statement as gospel truth. Which leads to confusing life choices and mental health issues. Hell, some of them succumb to the pressure and kill themselves. And doesn’t that make you a ray of sunshine under the eyes of God?
It’s clearly known that sexuality is not a choice. It’s no different to craving certain food or liking certain music. Or even hating things as well. Which means, when it comes to homosexuality, there’s no point to hating the sin and loving the sinner. You might as well just hate us and be honest about it. But that’s not the way God works, apparently.
If I’m going to hell, so be it. At least I won’t have to suffer with your mindless ignorance for eternity.